I reject the notion there exists such a thing as Working Moms VS. Stay-at-Home Moms.

I reject the notion there exists such a thing as Working Moms VS. Stay-at-Home Moms.

We are all working moms.  Where we work and what we do varies, but mainly we all have a common end goal –to provide our families with necessities, comfort, and love. 

I’ve heard many a times about how mothers and fathers love their children unconditionally.  Some do, many don’t.  Love takes effort.  Have I seen mothers who spend most of their time at home not love their children?  Yes..  even despise them.  Have I seen mothers who spend most of their time somewhere else not love their children.  Yes, unfortunately.  However, I have also seen mothers no matter their situation who love their children more than anything and do what it takes for their happiness.

This isn’t about whether one is better than the other. This is more about whether or not the work that we do is out of love, or possibly our own selfishness. 

 

Since all of us are valuable daughters of God, he loves us as his daughters.  He expects us to love each other as sisters.  He also expects us to love his sons and daughters that he loans to us in our earthly experience.  He expects us to take great care of his most precious gifts, his children.  Mothers should be anxiously concerned about their children, as well as fathers.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints encourages fathers to be the main providers for their children.  However, The Church also states that mothers need to help in that role.  According to The Church of Jesus Christ, a mother’s role is to nourish her children, and fathers need to help.  What does that mean exactly?  Well, it’s up to you.  But let me give you some encouragement and hopefully some helpful information.

 

First of all, I am grateful to be a mother.  I love my children so much!  I am grateful for the gift Heavenly Father has given me.  I know that all of us have different family lives, some with many children, some with few, and some with none at all.  Heavenly Father loves us no matter who we are and desires to give us the best gifts.  Some have to wait longer than others.  Some have the challenge of all-at-once, which would be me.  We are all challenged in different ways according to our desires, abilities, and life choices or situations.  We are also all blessed according to our desires, abilities, and life choices.  I want for everything to take care of my little precious gems to the best of my ability.  I realize I have many choices and opportunities in my life, even currently.  Life is full, if I take it.

Because I have chosen to allow my husband to earn the money, I have also chosen to do the nourishing.  Do I help provide for my children?  Absolutely!  Does my husband help nourish the children? Definitely!   One way to help provide is to find a profession and do the work it takes to fulfill that profession.  Rather than a profession, however, I have chosen to spend that valuable time in the home.  What exactly do I do and how do I provide?  I plan, I clean, I care for my children, I love, I discipline, and I shop.  You get the point.  In other words, I have more time to spend in family planning.  Because I can plan carefully and execute hopefully the same, I use the money more wisely, love more fully, and make the home our “haven” on earth.  Yes, I said “haven.”  It is the “Bubble from the world.”  You know, that world that uses and abuses.  Let’s examine this further.

I work at home.  I plan.  I do everything in my power, especially as of late to make sure the money my husband is earning and working hard towards is spent wisely.  I keep a budget.  I discuss the budget with my husband.  Not an easy task, I assure you.  I try to put off things that I want now.  I plan when I can get those wants.  Sometimes it’s not for several months or years even.  Is it worth it?  Yes!  I feel a greater satisfaction when I can spend my money well than when I can spend a large quantity of it or when I incur debts for my purchases.  I feel more grateful for what I have and take better care of them.  My husband feels better about what we can do together to provide for our family.  Because the responsibility is on his shoulders, he feels the need to excel in his profession and in his knowledge.  I help support him and make him a better man by allowing him to do his role as Father and Provider.  I also plan what groceries would be best for my family.  I try to plan what would be healthy to eat and how we can best use the food we buy, which hopefully results in working bodies and less waste.  I plan out our schedule.  I feel this makes our family a little more efficient, a little more orderly, and hopefully a little more joy in the small or great moments of our lives, because we aren’t surrounded by chaos; at least, not all the time.

I also do cleaning work at home.  By keeping things clean, perhaps I can keep the family healthier (hopefully cutting the doctor bills) and less rushing around trying to find things that are lost amongst piles of stuff.  Perhaps it helps the kids do better with their school work.  And hopefully, a clean home helps children to have the comfort they need and deserve, as well as the comfort I need and deserve.

Honestly, the thing that takes the most work is love.  Children need love.  Children need direction.  They need discipline.  They need comfort.  They need choices.  Love is probably the most essential life element, especially for children.  Food is essential, shelter is essential, but there’s probably no point in living if you don’t have love.  Love brings us joy.  Without joy, what’s the point? 

Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy. 2 Nephi 2:25

Why does love take so much work?  Love is more than just a feeling.  Love comes from effort.  As Christ taught, we need to have charity –the pure love of Christ.  Did he just tell everyone he met, “I love you” and walk away?  He showed them he loved them.  He served them.  He wept with them.  He taught them.  He spent valuable time with them.  He focused on the individual and met their needs.  He was kind.  He was meek- having all power, yet only using it for good.  He was patient and long-suffering.  He allowed others to make their choices and then to experience their consequences.  Yet despite that, he also, even (and especially) currently, is willing to take upon himself our burdens and the eternal consequences to our poor choices if we turn to him.  He is the model of pure love.  Is that the kind of love our children need?  Yes.  Is that the kind of love our husbands need?  Yes.  Our neighbors?  Friends? Enemies?  A resounding yes!  It takes our every effort to love.  Children need to grow and flourish.  As we provide for them it is so essential to nourish and shower them with love. 

What exactly do I want most out of life?  To see.  To see the small moments.  To see the big moments.  To see my children grow and discover.  To see them give and receive love and light.  And especially, to see the workmanship of God himself!  How do we see it?  By being there.  By creating time for life itself to happen.  It’s beautiful.  It’s joyful.  I just try to drink it in -to feast upon it! 

Why have I chosen to be in my home most of the time? So I can experience joy.  I might miss it if I am too tired, too busy, too grumpy, too fast-paced.  I indeed have been given the greatest gift available to mankind –my responsibility to be “Mother.”

I say this with every love and care.  Do what you need to for your own family situation.  In so doing, just remember, work in the home is the greatest work you can do.  In the end, your efforts will not go amiss.