Tuesday, April 12

More Than Merely Trying


I might suggest that the gospel of Jesus Christ is more than just trying.  Simply living life as a human being is merely trying.  We have to just try in order to not die.  There isn’t a significant amount of happiness in that. No, there is something more noble and beautiful than that.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is the gospel of thriving.  Jesus Christ not only helps us to survive, but he gives us the keys to providential living. 

Might I suggest that the gospel of Jesus Christ is essentially balance.  It is this beautiful harmonious balance between ourselves and those around us that allow us to have this thing called Joy. It is the formula of balance that he offers us that allows us to ride the waves instead of being pushed by them.  It is the mathematical equation where both sides equal each other.  Now I am not suggesting that life with His gospel is one without trial.  -Or one without sacrifice.  On the contrary, in spite of challenges or maybe because of challenges we have the ability as children of God to rely on him.  When we come to Him, we allow him to help us arise above those situations and see a greater perspective or answer to bring us back into balance bringing us to that ever warm and comforting peace.  When we are feeling miserable or anxious, it is important to take that as a sign that something is out of balance and we are not fully living the gospel of Jesus Christ (otherwise known as the Plan of Happiness).  Come to Him during those times and he will show you the way (through the tool he has given us -the Spirit) back to a life of balance and a life of prosperity.  When we prosper spiritually, we can prosper physically and mentally.  This prosperity is not the standard that the world gives, but as God gives.  For instance, when we live the gospel of Jesus Christ fully, we may not have the skinny bodies the world would deem as perfect –But we will have bodies that will be healthy.  We will have bodies that will be able to have energy.  We will have bodies that will be at peace and feel warmth and happiness.  It is important to realize that things happen to us that bring us out of balance and sometimes it is not our fault.  Sometimes accidents or trials happen that can paralyze or impair us physically, mentally and even spiritually.  Or, sometimes it is our fault when we sin.  It is a process to come back to balance.  But it will happen if we come to Him.


When we are living the gospel of Jesus Christ there is balance between the roles of man and woman.  There is balance between hunger and being filled.  There is balance between happiness and sorrow.  There is a balance of sacrifice and receiving.  There is a balance between what we need for ourselves and what we need to do for others.  It is the balance between work and fun.  It is also the great balance between justice and mercy.  When we have the gospel of Jesus Christ there is a balance of doing our best and then when we fall short through sin, we come to Christ who will make us whole again.  But also there is more than just balance.  There are the fruits of balance -light, love, and happiness.  This is the place where joy can fill our souls. And ultimately, we will be given that great gift where we will live in harmony forever with each other and with our God, if we just come to Him.

Wednesday, January 21

I am not heterosexual or homosexual. I am a daughter of God. -A thought about love.



I have come to the conclusion that the terms heterosexual and homosexual are scientific categorizations for hormones.  I do not define myself in either one of these categories.  I believe I am a daughter of God.  I believe it is his plan I want to follow –to have a family and to be with them forever in love.  I will do whatever it takes to follow that plan.  I believe homosexual or heterosexual feelings have everything to do with hormones and lust and nothing to do with true love.. and here’s why:

Before meeting my husband, I believed that in order to find “the one” whom I could share my love with, I had to be attracted to them by my hormones.  Every time I tried this equation.. something like “Chemistry=Love,” I found heartbreak.  Something wasn’t right.  I came to a time where I finally gave myself fully to God.  I prayed that if he wanted me to have his children he would have to send me a man (and hopefully a good one).  I said if that was not in my plan, then I would do whatever it was he wanted me to do, like going on a mission. 

Heavenly Father was already in the works to answer my prayer at that very moment, but I didn’t recognize it until I allowed him to lead my life fully.  I had already been on a couple dates with the man I was going to marry, but I hadn’t had those “chemical hormones” for him… until.. I allowed myself to see the good things about him and truly get to know him.  I realized that he was truly a good man and following that feeling came a feeling of love, peace, and happiness.  It was much different than the lust I had previously experienced with all the other guys.  This was the beginning of true love.  That love continues to grow because I choose him every day and I direct my hormones to him and him only.  I commited when I got married that I would give everything to him as he gives everything to God. 

Honestly, if I choose to allow my hormones at this point in life to direct me (rather than controlling and directing them myself), I would have the possibility of committing adultery -I mean, there are a lot of fish in the sea, right?  Would that bring me happiness?  What would the consequences be for following such a path?  I think there would be heartache for my husband and for my children, as well as my parents and siblings, extended family, friends and church members.  Every choice I make effects a whole web of people, including myself.  I would further myself from God because I broke my promise to him.  No mistaking, he’s always there for me, but I would be the one to distance myself from him.  Happiness?  I think not.

So at this current moment I am in the reigns.  I control my hormones.  I believe that uncontrolled hormones have everything to do with the “natural man.”  Remember, the natural man is an enemy to God.  The natural man believes in following what comes naturally instead of taking control over your body.  Now, God has everything in the entire universe.  He has control and power over stars, constellations, planets, galaxies, plants, animals, and creating us!  That is a lot!  He certainly knows what he is doing.  I believe him when he says there is only one way to happiness –having a family unit in love and righteousness forever.  Doesn’t that sound glorious and refreshing?!  We have so many unhappy families right now.  Our world is going crazy.  Why?  -Because the family is being broken down in every direction.  We (a general term) don’t know which way is The Way anymore.  It gives me comfort to know that Jesus Christ says “I am the way.” 

Heavenly Father is this amazing being that wants to give his offspring EVERYTHING.  His riches are true riches and eternal happiness.  He knew that in order to give us everything we would have to accept it into our lives.  He can’t just force it upon us.  He gave us agency and because of that freedom, we can have the most glorious joy knowing that we chose something good and amazing.  Many choose to use their agency to go the other direction.  But as they travel on their journey towards who knows what, there is one person they come closer to.  His name is Satan.  He is a being that would like very much to have all power and his power comes from us rebelling against God.  Luckily, God has much more power than Satan will ever have, but Satan doesn’t know that.  He doesn’t have faith in God.  He thinks he will really win and is aggrandized when people join his armies.  Do you really want to be enchained to him? 

I believe it is most loving to believe that every single human being has full potential and to believe in them as such.  It is not really loving, as Satan would have you think, to say, “Hey, this is the way he is, so just let him do whatever he wants.”  -As if that person is not capable of becoming something great.  We all are changing beings.  Every life experience has the capacity to change us in some way.  To stop ourselves from change, especially good change is to basically stop ourselves in becoming anything better (therefore comes the term damnation).  Take Barak Obama for example.  He gave in to his natural man as a younger adult and allowed drugs to take over his life.  Had he stayed in this course, he would have been a goner, and he admits that.  He is grateful that something pulled him through that aweful captivating time so that he could do something more with his life, like becoming president or something.  

There is potential in all of us.  Don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on others.  We all have the potential to have a happy family life forever and live as God lives.  Of course all have agency.  All sin.  No matter what choices anyone makes, God will love them because they are his children.  I believe every person has the ability to choose who’s side they are on.  I do not believe in standing idlely by thinking that someone must not need the invitation to come to God through Jesus Christ.  All have a right to happiness, which means all have the right to live as God lives.  We all need the atonement in our lives.  The closer we come to God, the more we realize that.  Don’t be afraid to embrace his gospel, because it is the way to happiness.  Refuse to be categorized by scientists and instead think in terms of God, that you are a son or daughter of God and that he wants you to be happy. 


I love God.  I have experienced joy through his plan.  And that means everything to me.  I’m glad he is my hero and keeps me away from Satan’s chains.  I am grateful we all have the chance to receive true love and happiness, and that is enough for me.  It is never to late.  He loves you RIGHT NOW because you are his.  He wants to be yours.  Will you let him?

Saturday, December 20

Christmas IS All About Receiving



                                               Luke 2:4–6, Mary riding to Bethlehem


I have so many thoughts to get out of my head that it's just screaming to write it all down.  So here we go..

This Christmas season has been a little different for me.  Normally Christmas is my most FAVORITE holiday ever.  I've always gotten into the "Christmas Spirit" by like September.  The music has always been my favorite, and I love watching for falling snow.  I guess Christmas to me has always been magical.

This Christmas.. something was missing.  Perhaps it was because there was no snow..  Perhaps it was because I just had a heart procedure done and so I got things done early because I HAD to.  Perhaps it was because my parents are so far away and I feel a little more alone.  However, those conditions made it possible for my discovery.  My eyes are tearing up now just thinking about it.  I am so grateful to God that the conditions lined up just right so I could experience this.

For you see, the last couple weeks I have been down in the dumps.  Since I haven't felt the "magic" of Christmas like I normally do, I just felt joy zapped right out of me.  The lights, the music, the presents, all the usual stuff was making me feel like throwing up.  It's been such a draining feeling and I've been feeling like I had to do things just because that's what people expected me to do, like sending presents or going to see Santa.  It wasn't feeling fun to me AT ALL..  I don't like feeling like I HAVE to do things just for the sake of doing them.  But of course, there are some little chicklets who would have been very disappointed because of unmet expectations.  So.. I carried on.  But not very gracefully.  My poor husband had to deal with my constant sadness or upset bouts or depressive comments.  I felt like I didn't really deserve love from anyone including my husband and family because I was behaving so terribly.  Little did I know that love is exactly what I needed to receive.

Yes.. receive.  I discovered first of all that Christmas IS all about receiving.   I kept hearing that I needed to GIVE GIVE GIVE.. and boy was that wearing me out.. especially when I was feeling drained.  I do think that giving is important.. but I think it comes as a result of something..  RECEIVING.  Sometimes it's easy to take that one part out of the formula and focus on what you give.  But without it, there isn't much giving or at least no point in giving.  I discovered that I had already been given the best gifts ever, but I needed to receive them before I felt like loving and giving.  The first gift given to me was Jesus Christ.  Heavenly Father gave me his son.  And he still gives me his son.  My life has been lifted by Christ more than I can even comprehend.  I am grateful for that gift.  So as I have been wallowing in misery, I have prayed (Heavenly Father has also given me himself because I can pray to the master of the universe.  WOW!!).  I told Heavenly Father about how I was feeling and he kept sending me peace through the comforter.  Ka-ching!  Another gift.  The HOLY GHOST!!  Wonderful gift.. gives me direction in life, comfort, strength, you name it.  Wonderful to have that companion by my side.  So as I have opened my eyes to the things around me instead of being a grump staring at my feet or something, I began to look around me.  He gave me this beautiful world.  And it is beautiful and he put all these brothers and sisters here for me to associate with and share love with.  Gee.. These gifts are turning out to be amazing.  Not only that, but he also promises me my body forever and ever.  After death I WILL rise again, no matter what I do.  That is AMAZING!!!  And not only that, but I will be given heaven.  Everyone will be given heaven (unless of course you are one of the most rebellious spirits after having been given the witness of the holy ghost and then denying him, but I hope no one else here will do that.. )!  Wow!!  Heaven for all eternity!!!  And then of course with the gospel of Jesus Christ, couple that with the covenants you can make at the temple and to live in heaven WITH God!!  My heart is bursting right now.  Look at all these blessings.  And then it gets even better.. I can be with my FAMILY forever and ever.

So, I have learned that the Christmas spirit is more than gifts.  It is more than snow and pretty music.  It is about the Saviour and the plan God laid out for his children.  His perfect and amazing plan.  I am celebrating that.  Once I learned I needed to receive these gifts.. suddenly I felt more like giving.  I wanted to look around me and see what things I could give.  I can give myself to my children and my husband.  That probably helped them feel relieved.  :b  I can give myself to my neighbors.. not just through treats and smiles, but through real help and concern.  I can give myself to the church.  I can serve my Great God who has given me his best gifts because I love him and I want to give back to him a LITTLE portion.

My heart is just bursting now with this overwhelming swelling of gratitude for His great goodness.  He has allowed me to go through this process so I could learn more about grief and sorrows that people go through without Him.  He has also shown me he is willing to give me one more gift -the gift of peace.  And THAT my friends, is one GOOD gift!  Without it life is joyless and unfruitful.  Do what you can if you feel down in the dumps this season to pray for that precious gift.  He will give it to you.  He gave it to me many times.. each time I needed it.  But now we come to one last thing.

I have learned something by observing my children this season.  They began feeling entitled.  They felt like they could just call my name and magically they would get whatever their wishes were.  And if for some reason they didn't have it right away, their anger grew into big explosions.  I began to understand something about Heavenly Father through this.  My understanding grew to know that if you want something from Heavenly Father, you have to come to him.  You can't just sit in your comfy chair and say his name in vain hoping he'll come to you for every little thing.  Now perhaps he may come to you from time to time where you are.  But if you want him, just as I had to tell my children (as I was doing a hundred things at once for them), "If you want mommy, you need to come to me and I will help you."  If you want Heavenly Father, you have to go to him and he will bless you with your needs.  You go to him by placing yourself in holy places where HE dwells.  Those places are things like the church, the temple, serving someone else in their homes (because as you become his hands, you become closer to him) and in your closets where you can weep openly to him.  I am grateful I could understand that.  If your prayers seem unanswered, GO to where he is.  Then see what happens.  He will always fulfill if it is good.  I am grateful to him for this.

So, I feel so relieved to get this all out and hopefully it will help some other fellow wallowing spirit out there, because there really can be joy at the end of the dark abyss.  Seek Him and you will find.

Know that I love you because I can feel the love the Saviour has for you.  HE LOVES YOU!!!  Receive him and you will KNOW that!!


                                        

Tuesday, September 23

They Are There. Do Not Be Deceived.

                

                
                 A couple years ago I was given a dream.  Now, every once in a while, when Heavenly Father wants to help me understand something, I am given dreams or you could call them visions.  These visions are simply to illustrate a doctrinal point, so I don’t pretend to speak of myself or for the prophet or whatever, but I do want to share this because it illustrates what it is that the prophets have been teaching us.  I don’t want to cast out my pearls before swine, but I believe that if you are reading this, you are probably not swine, and will be respectful to what it is.
                
When I was a Relief Society instructor I had to give a lesson and for some reason I just kept getting migraine after migraine and I could not study for my lesson.  So, the night before I was supposed to present, I asked Heavenly Father to help me know what He would have me say.  That night I had this dream that illustrated the point of the lesson very well.  I don’t remember now the specific topic of the lesson, but I do remember the very vivid details of this dream.  I believe it is worth sharing because it is of God and can be beneficial for all.
                
It started off like this:  I was in Relief Society one Sunday and for some reason the Relief Society Presidency was gone, so it was just me up there conducting the meeting.  As I began to say who it was that was going to give the prayer and things, I noticed that people in the meeting were starting to say things like “I just found from this magazine a new way to pray” and she proceeded to do so.  It didn’t feel quite right and was a bit different than the way we normally pray.  As I began teaching the lesson I had more comments coming where things didn’t quite fit with the gospel message.  Things were slightly different in the way that the women wanted to do things, like something else to read that was better than the scriptures, etc.  A dark feeling began to grow within the room.  As I was speaking in the front, I began to see devils coming out of the woodworks.  They were smiling and looking over the shoulders of these women, ready to prey upon them and happy that they were adding their own way of doing things to the lesson and to their lives, instead of sharing the gospel way.  I began to feel fear at seeing them and pretty soon everyone in the room could see them.  They were surrounding us and for a moment it seemed we were doomed to destruction.  I tried to think of what to do and it took a moment to figure something out.  Pretty soon the thought that came to my head was to sing “The Spirit of God, Like a Fire is Burning.”  It began with just me singing and at first people were a little confused as to why I started singing, but then others began to join in.  Within a few moments the whole room was singing fervently this beautiful song.  As we sang, the devils began to grow uneasy and their faces were very unhappy.  There was a power in the room and the only thing they could do was to flee.  As we were done singing, we all got up and tried leaving the room, and we could see the devils everywhere in the hallways trying to get away.  Some made their last efforts to scare us, but nothing could avail.  They simply had to go.  We were triumphant in the end.  It was the spirit of God that drew them out in the end.
               
After seeing this vision, I was given a gift of the spirit by God.  “Wherefore, beware lest ye are deceived; and that ye may not be deceived seek ye earnestly the best gifts, always remembering for what they are given; They are given for the benefit of those who love me and keep all my commandments, and him that seeketh so to do; that all may be benefited that seek or that ask of me, that ask and not for a sign that they may consume it upon their lusts.. To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby.. to some it is given , by the Spirit of God, the word of wisdom.. and TO OTHERS THE DISCERNING OF SPIRITS (D&C 46: 8, 9, 11, 17, 23).” Since that time, I have been able to SEE and discern these spirits, they who are in league with the devil himself.  They surround me, my friends, my neighbors, and pretty much everyone in the world. They try their hardest to deceive even the best of us. 

Pay close attention to this one: “..Ye are commanded in all things to ask of God, who giveth liberally; and that which the Spirit testifies unto you even so I would that ye should do in all holiness of heart, walking uprightly before me, considering the end of your salvation, doing all things with prayer and thanksgiving, that ye MAY NOT BE SEDUCED BY EVIL SPIRITS, OR DOCTRINES OF DEVILS, OR THE COMMANDMENTS OF MEN; FOR SOME ARE OF MEN, AND OTHERS OF DEVILS. (D&C 46:7).”    
               
Yes, they are there and very subtle and lulling.  For the past couple years I feel like I have been lulled by the devil and his angels in our wonderful culture of prosperity.  Where there is prosperity, be especially aware that the devil is happy to make you feel like you don’t have enough, that things need to be perfect and if they aren’t than life isn’t happy, or that you are better than someone else because of your apparel or things.  Do not be lulled by the Devil.  He is out there causing major chaos, causing the rest of the world to be in shambles.  He makes us think that all is well in Zion, and that all must be well in the rest of the world, or that we don’t need to be concerned because nothing will happen to us.  We can go along in life only concerned about our little spheres, focusing on our bodies, or our possessions because that’s all that matters in life right?  You’d better think again.
              
I want to let you know where I see these evil spirits, because I feel like I need to warn my “neighbors.”  They lurk behind businesses that prey upon young mothers, who are pressured into buying things they don’t actually need.  They hide behind faces that appear to be loving and accepting of any and all behavior, “for we cannot judge” evil for what it is.  They walk beside programs or challenges that make you focus on yourself or your body first, forgetting God or your family/friends.  They sit with those who tell you to get rid of people in your life that don’t view things the way you do (thus making it hard to love thy neighbor).  They are happy with those who allow their bodies to be in control of their lives, including sensuality (stimulation of the senses).
                
What does the gospel of Jesus Christ teach?  Live in a way that pleases God.  Put off the “natural” man.  Live the family life of a mother/father/ children (as The Proclamation to the World states), not anything goes (yes, there are some who have had their families broken up because of unrighteousness and suffer the consequences, but that is not the way).  Live your role as mother or father.  Mothers are the nurturers.  Father’s are the providers.  If it didn’t matter what role we played out, we might as well be all boys or all girls.  Family life is special and should be treated as priority.  Live the Word of Wisdom, not only excluding things that are bad for your body, but including things that are healthy in your daily life –couple that with Food storage (such as getting down to the basics, like grains) and gardening (your body will be very happy and you will have health to your navel marrow to your bones.  You will be able to run and not faint and walk and not be weary).   Love thy neighbor as thyself.  PART of love is kindness, meekness, gentleness.  THE OTHER PART of love is truth, light, and clearly stating what is good and bad for those you love, so they can have true agency to choose good against evil (it is not giving people agency if you compare good against “good”, as the world sees it).  The scriptures, with the spirit, has all the answers.  The priesthood and the spirit have all the power.  Go to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ first before other things.  Pray always.  Do the things you are commanded by prophets chosen of God.  Believe them, not just in some things, but all things.  Live as Christ would have you live.  Love God with all your heart over anything else.  Repent of your wrongdoings so that the blood of Christ can wash you clean.  THIS IS the gospel of Jesus Christ.
                
Right now is the time to join with Christ.  “But behold, verily, verily, I say unto you that mine eyes are upon you. I am in your midst and ye cannot see me; But the day soon cometh that ye shall see me, and know that I am; for the veil of darkness shall soon be rent, and he that is not purified shall not abide the day.  Wherefore gird up your loins and be prepared.  Behold the kingdom is yours, and the enemy shall not overcome. (D&C 38: 7-9)”  Purify yourselves of all evil.  Get rid of those things that this world would have you think are acceptable that don’t match up to the gospel.  Keep your eye single to his glory.  Live with happiness and joy as you experience the sweet fruits of the gospel, for it IS sweet and marvelous to behold.

                
I love you, my “neighbors.”  I write this that you may choose for yourselves good over evil.  I may stand alone at this time, but as you join with me, in joining with Christ, the world will change for  good.  God will triumph over all things.  And it is very soon.  Through his prophets the Lord states that his work is being hastened (hurried), for the end is near.  I testify of this!  Learn of him and live!!

September 24, 2014
Further clarification, so I am not misunderstood:

I do not literally see evil spirits.  I "see" them with my spiritual eyes.  As I have come to know the Holy Ghost and the good spirit that he is, I have also come to know what is not him or of God.  I can feel when something is dark compared to the light of the gospel.  Therefore I "see" them with my feelings.  Just as I "see" God every time I look at the prophet or the temple or go to church, or read my scriptures.  The spirit of God is a tool given to those who will use it properly.  There are other spirits on this earth in cahoots with the devil who would present themselves as light and truth, when really they are darkness and that is what I warn against.  

I love this gospel and the light it is in my life.  It is something that I will forever hold dear because I have done my own researching and thinking and putting faith into and have had it manifest to me as truth.  God has blessed my life in countless ways as I do his will and you can have those blessings too.  That is the message I share.  Thanks for reading!

Thursday, May 15

20 Careers I Have As A Mother




Most people feel like they need a specific career to really discover themselves and their talents.  I feel like all I have needed is to be a mother to really know and understand myself and my abilities.  I have discovered at least 20 career paths and talents that I will continue to pursue.  Whether in this life or the next, I know that I have all of eternity to work on them.  So rather than limiting myself with just one, I work on them as I go and as I need them.  The things I have come to know about myself are as follows:

1, 2, 3, 4.  Actress, Theatre, Singer, Dancer: 
I LOVE to sing and dance.  I dream of one day participating in a play and singing the solo piece of Belle or some other Disney princess.  Currently however, I enjoy life by singing and dancing around my kitchen floor with my children and husband.

5.      Hair Stylist:
I have discovered I love to cut hair.  It’s so fun to shape it exactly as I want it and to save major bucks.  I also love to style it.  Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he gave me two girls to work with.  Yeah, usually their hair is a bit messy most of the time, but when I get the chance, it feels good to make them feel beautiful.

6.       Home designer:
I love to organize and clean, and organize again.  I love making things out of scratch.  It feels great when I can use materials to create things exactly as I want them.  Or at least, somewhat resembling what I want -makes life more beautiful and simple when things are clean.  Turns our house into a home and feels so warm and fresh when I do my part to keep my sphere of earth beautiful!

7.       Writer:
I love to write.  I love to edit.  Expressing myself through blogs or my journal really has been a great tool to help me reflect upon life and what really matters.

8.       Cook:
I have discovered that cooking is awesome, and tasty, and fulfilling!!   When I can take food from scratch and make something completely mouth-watering delicious and something that makes my body feel good and puts a smile on my husband’s face, life is good!

9.       Photographer:
I LOVE taking pictures!!!  I love getting the perfect angle, and the perfect lighting, and the perfect simplicity that makes a good picture or a picture with feeling.  I love taking pictures of my children and trying to capture their innocence and the simplicity of being a kid.

10.    Nurse/Midwife:
      When I come across illness or injury, I do my best to study up on medical information and love to know exactly what’s going on with my body or my kids’ bodies.  I also love studying what happens in a mother’s body during pregnancy and childbirth and will give tried advice at any time. J

11.   Special Needs Worker:
Children with special needs have a special place in my heart.  Knowing and understanding human beings and how to fulfill their needs is such an awesome task.  Love is central to success!

12.   Movie Editor:
I love putting pictures or video together to fun music or adding special effects.  If I had all the time in the world, I would probably be found doing this a big chunk of the time.

13.   Nutritionist:
Understanding nutrition in the body and the perfect balance that is needed for function, health and happiness and been a great tool for our family, and has made me feel more energetic and happy as a mother.

14.   Biologist/Chemist:
Looking at the most elemental things and how they are put together brings me so much joy!  The world seems like such a magnificent place when I can really zero in on things.

15.     Pet Caretaker/Gardener:
Animals and plants are one of life’s greatest, most beautiful blessings.  Taking care and nourishing life is so rewarding, especially when the fruits of my labors become manifest. I get to give and receive love.

16.   Artist:
Drawing, painting and creating allows me to share joy with my children as they participate with me.  Their abilities have increased as I have taken the time to sit down with them to simply draw what is in my soul.

17.   Language Arts Specialist:
We love learning languages around here.  My children are as excited as I am to learn new things and use them with each other.

18.   Teacher:
Teaching my children good principles, information gathering, and practical skills creates an atmosphere of learning and logic.  I am so happy when they ask questions. I feel I get to increase my knowledge as well, as I try to explain and examine things and situations.  When a kid “gets it” the wheels of knowledge and truth begin turning.  What a wonderful way to bring light into my life.

19.   Athlete:
My abilities to run and bike and move around have increased tremendously as I have had to use a lot of muscle to take care of my children.  I have found joy in higher levels of activity today than ever before. 

20.   Judge:
As situations arise, I have learned how to problem solve with my husband and children and how to increase a healthy environment.  Balance and solving problems together brings more elation than anything I’ve ever imagined.


So, as I sit here typing my thoughts, I have realized that as I have made the choice to be a mother, I have been able to excel more than I could ever have imagined.  Yes motherhood can be hard.  But hard things are where the lessons come in.  When problems are solved and knowledge is gained, joy is to be had.  As I have anchored myself to my family, I feel like a kite soaring free above the clouds.  Life is amazing and skills are sure to increase as effort is made.  I am grateful at this time to focus on home and family as I fulfill my role as Mother, or in other words, nurturer.  What is a nurturer?  -Someone who puts time and effort and even exhaustion into something important, so it can grow and excel.  Is it not clear why I have made the choice to be here with my children, rather than choosing an occupation to specialize in that will take precious time away from my family?  Obviously there are those who cannot for whatever reason make that choice currently, and I’m not trying to make anyone feel horrible about their situation.  But for those of us with a choice, we are needed in the world.  Caretakers just won’t do.  My family needs an anchor –an anchor of love and truth.  I’m grateful to fill that role as I anchor myself to my husband and the Savior.  I know my role is important, and I will cherish it always.  I have all of eternity to develop my talents, one step at a time.  I hope to always remember why I have them –to build the kingdom of God and glorify my Father in Heaven.  As my light increases so does my Fathers.  And THAT is true joy!

Tuesday, January 21

The Rediscovery Of Self






Where do I start?!  I feel like I'm in this rediscovery stage of life.  My husband graduated school not quite 2 years ago, after our 6 year journey through school.  School life was hard.  Brett had to work, do homework, find some time to be with the kids and if possible with me too.  He was exhausted every day.  I was exhausted every day.  I had 5 pregnancies in a row, meaning 5 pregnancies in 5 years (though one only made it through the first trimester).  I felt every time I was pregnant I was a completely different person than when I had energy.  My kids had to bide their time by watching television constantly, making it difficult for them to get the proper excersize and attention they needed.  After Brett graduated, it took him a year and a half to recover.  His body was so exhausted the only thing he could do was fall asleep on the couch after dinner.

 It's ironic how you can go through life exhausted and then feel like you're not doing enough.  Life can be hard at times.  Why did we choose to endure through 5 years of no energy, painful headaches and body aches, basically in survival mode?  This endurance is what brings the fruits.  Let me explain..

Now, finally, we are coming out of the gall of bitterness and are beginning to taste the sweetness.  Is it because of a new house?  More energy?  No more studying?  No hard trials?  Sort of, but not necessarily.  As I reflect upon our experiences we have lived and learned.  What have we learned?  How to be happy despite our situation.  It took a while.  It took a lot of hard trials.  But it also took a lot of sweet experiences that we may not have had if we had chosen to take the "easy" route, or at least what may have appeared easier.  You know.. maybe things like giving in to the temptations that surrounded us.  Oh yes, there were many temptations -as there still are.  What were they?  Well, many times Brett was offered jobs where if he quit school he could earn a higher position at work.  I had many around me who tried to tempt me to finish school myself or focus on a career or not have as many children.  Many around us have the desires to gratify wants now, instead of saving.  Many have encouraged focusing on body and looks.  There are a lot of voices out there.  Most built on the foundation of self-gratification.  That building up self in money, position, social status is the thing to seek after, that it will bring ultimate happiness.  I love my friends, I love my neighbors.  I'm grateful for and value their perspectives.  Many of them have stood steady and haven't wavered to these kinds of temptations and I'm grateful for their examples to me.

But I know the face of the devil and it's not pretty.  He is so tricky, or so he thinks.  He hides himself behind some of the beautiful, rich, or strong-willed ones around me.  Why can he not trick me?  Or at least not yet?  (And I hope he never will.)  What he doesn't know is that his face is darkness.  Though he may think he's inspirational and lovely, he can only counterfeit the real one who is light and beautiful.

I am attracted to light.  I love it!  It makes me feel warm, it shows me truth and I feel happy when it is around.  Where is this light emanating from?  The Son.  I know him, because I talk to his father every day.  I read about him constantly.  He reveals himself to me through his best friend, the Holy Ghost.  I feel his warmth, his love, his happiness.  I love it, and I love him for it.  Not only can I feel his light, but it can be absorbed inside of me.  He can take darkness right out of me and replace it with his light.  So every time this devil tries to throw his dark sludge at me, all I have to do is turn towards the light and it fills my soul.  Jesus Christ is everything, because he is in everything.  All that is good.

Now I go back to my first sentence in this blog.  I said I feel like I'm in this rediscovery stage of life.  What am I finding?  I'm finding that when I lose myself in Jesus Christ, in his light, in his words, in his works, I find myself.  I know who I am because I can remember.  I can remember that I am his and he is mine.  I feel like the windows of heaven have opened so I have not enough room to receive it all.  It's overwhelming, but in a good way.  The blessings are like a flowing fountain bringing life and happiness.  Yes, I understand that I am in a season of rest and prosperity.  I know that life will become challenging again.  But I also know I will be riding on the waves of the sea of light.  My burdens will always become light when I am yoked with my master, Jesus Christ.  I hope in my journey of life I always hold on tight and never let go.  This is happiness my dear friends.  And I hope to be with him forever.

The invitation is open to you as well.  Join with me in the realms of eternal splendor!  Too good to be true?  Nope, you just have to see as he does and trust him with all your heart.  He will do the rest.  

*Note- on the picture- Yesterday we were at the temple and Elizabeth commented that in the center of the fountain was Jesus and that was us around him.  In this world of darkness, as the horizon, it may appear as light until we really see the light, then it all becomes clearer.  I feel like I'm in his little protected flock and his light glows within me.  I can share his light as well.  So awesome!!

P.S.- I want to make sure everybody knows I'm not saying it's bad to have a career as a woman or to focus on your body sometimes.  But as far as searching for happiness through these things, it just isn't lasting. When I focus on my motherhood and who I am as a daughter of God, then I am happy.  When I support my husband by allowing him to fulfill his role as a father and a son of God, then he is most happy.  If any questions, refer to http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Friday, November 15

Feeling Blessed

 I've been indulging myself the past couple days.
Slowly I've been adding decor before our official move.
This is our "before move-in" look.  :)
I'm sure it'll look pretty messy after tomorrow.
But, here's what I've been workin' on.
I forgot to add a pic of the dining area and the girls room, 
but I'll post more later, when they're all done.
It WAS pretty fun to have the girls' closet space to work with...
I love all the extra room this house has to offer!  
Feeling blessed!!
I'm grateful for this great gift Heavenly Father has given us at this time.










Friday, November 8

Lots of exciting things going on these days.
First things first,
  we OWN our very own a townhouse!!

Our little guy had his first birthday!


 On his birthday, he got to dress up like a monkey for the Ward Party.
He sure loved his hat!  :b

Okay, maybe it was better without.

Ashlyn was our little princess!


Isaac was a happy Jedi Knight..

And Elizabeth was a Precious Angel.  :)



Ethan also had his first hair cut..

It looked something like this after.

The kids had some fun playing in the leaves at the City Civic Center.

My beautiful Elizabeth

My pretty Ashlyn.  
I've decided she doesn't like looking directly at the camera.


Leaf collecting

 



Handsome Isaac


*Wink*


In the water-less fountain.. thank goodness.


Playground time!!


Superman boy!

And then there was this little guy who's feet decided to outgrow his shoes.
So these are his new ones (Size 6! Ashlyn just moved into a size 7 foot at 3 years old..).



Tuesday, September 10

Kyle and Shantelle Avery


Such a wonderful couple and amazing wedding!  Love you guys!!!
So glad I could be there!  :)
Happy Marriage!!

Friday, August 30

The girls